Moving is hard.
When I moved to eastern ID I moved in with my sister, I was working full time, and I had a boy friend. So I was meeting people at work and through my boyfriend and I had my sister and her family. I wasn't THAT bored or lonely.
Moving after my boyfriend and I got married was SO exciting and easy because it was something we wanted and we are best friends so of course it would be easy and fun!
When I moved to northern ID. Different story. No friends. New city I knew nothing about. Don't know the roads. Don't know how to get anywhere; except the one route to my husbands school and one route to the grocery store. So now I'm bored and lonely.
So what does one do when you are bored living in a new city that's a college town. You have a 'newborn'. It's getting cold outside and your husband is MIA half the time because of his busy school schedule. And you are getting antsy and have cabin fever from being inside all the time, but have ZERO friends.
I have tried to get to know/tried talking to a few girls at church BUT they seem to not care and have their own friends they would rather hang out with. Who wants to hang out with the 'new girl'??
I guess it's just harder for me than other people to introduce myself to others and be that person everyone wants to hang out with. I'm just not that outgoing person. I've tried to use my time and try baking and cooking new recipes. I've done some scrapbooking. But there is always the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, feeding and changing baby, playing with baby, eating for myself, showering, workout. How do I find time to do those fun crafts and DIY projects I want to do for myself? Or find time to do something different with my day??
My husband and I have had several talks but it always ends with me crying because I feel like the worst wife.
It's been a VERY hard adjustment for me and I'm still working on it all. But there is still that loneliness inside me.
I feel so far away from all my friends and family. And some days wonder if they even know or care I'm still alive.
It's also a hard thing to swallow when your business is not doing well, and people have unliked your business page. So I'm losing people instead of gaining people and support. And the few friends you did have (or thought you had) from your previous city don't respond to your text or messages or phone calls. So then you feel REALLY alone. Then you get the thoughts did they even like me when I lived there?
It's also hard going from working full time for ten years then one day being done working and being shut out from that line of work; in-office and globally.
It's just been one of those weeks this past week. I have a wonderful husband that cares about me and is working hard to provide for our family. I can't take away his passion for what he is working towards. We will survive, it's just a hard adjustment for me as a wife and mother. I know I will overcome this and that it will take time, I guess I just figured I would have made a few friends by now.
blogs are safe stressful days, happy days, and lonely days, right?
Love,
Mrs. Duke
1 comment:
Oh Lanae! My heart goes out to yours. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I felt like that when we first moved to NY and then when we moved here to ID. So, so lonely. It just takes time. It took me nearly a year each move to finally feel at home. That's a long time! Plus you've just entered into an entirely new phase of life: motherhood and a husband working on a serious secondary degree. The adjustment is no joke! Okay, a master's/lawyer degree is no joke. You are going to be dirt poor. He is going to be STRESSED. And you will be there in the middle of it all thinking, 'how do I help my husband and our family and myself?' Yup, been there. :) But I can promise you that it will get better if you keep your chin up. Do NOT get lost in the trenches of social media to pick up your spirits. It won't work. Instead, keep smiling at the girls at church and say 'hi'. Be sure to fit in some exercise and a late night 'me time' project after Hannah goes to bed. And make your hubby's life easier by putting on a happy face/attitude as much as possible to ease his worries. I promise you'll get through this. And your marriage will be tighter than ever before! It's worth it. Love you, Lanae!
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