Why don't people hold up their end of a bargain?
I don't know. I don't get it.
I don't have patience for it.
But I don't want to be the nagging friend, wife etc.
How do I get over it? How do I get them to hold up their end of the deal?
Sorry, that is what is on my mind today. But 2015 started off on the wrong foot...
Today I woke up wanting to have motivation, so I encouraged myself to get to that point. What came next? It lasted for about 3 hours. Then things just went down hill. So I sit here tearing my self apart on the inside and trying to hold back the bucket of tears because I know I'm probably being silly and I don't want my husband to know because I need/want to be strong for him. I don't know if it's because of how this week has gone spirally down or if it's this pregnancy.
I'm excited for my baby girl and sometimes wish she was just here. But other times it's nice to always have her with me and know she is safe.
I want to be better at a lot of things and don't know where to start. Maybe that's my problem.
I want to start projects but am afraid to get too far into them thinking something is going to come up and interrupt me and then it will never get done. Maybe that's my problem.
I want to be a better house cleaner but it hurts to do certain chores so i just leave it dirty. Maybe that's my problem.
I want to work out, but why? I haven't done anything all day and I'm still clean from my shower and don't want to shower again. Maybe that's my problem. I want to cook a good home cooked meal, but I don't know what to make. Maybe that's my problem.
I want to be a better business woman selling my Mary Kay but feel like it's just going down the drain and nobody wants/needs anything and I don't know how to pick up business. Maybe that's my problem.
Maybe it's because I feel like I can't do anything or go anywhere Because I Am pregnant.
Maybe I'm too picky and OCD about life and certain things.
I don't know what my problem is but today has been a long, pacing the house wondering what to do, eating everything, feeling depressed kind of day and I just don't know what to do. And I feel like I'm bringing my husband down as well. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to get ready for the day to do anything. But I want to get out of the house to say I at least got out of my house this weekend and did SOMETHING.
But I have to count my many blessings and know I'm watched over, have a safe warm house with EVERYTHING I could ever possibly need inside [and more], with a good husband :)
I know I'm not perfect and never will be but I try to be my best. But sometimes the best comes over me and some days you just need to relax and stay inside; I understand that, but I worry it's not just one of those days.
But maybe it's time to go close that closet door that never got closed a few minutes ago (my OCD), and sit and cry it out. Then start over tomorrow. Because after all it is Sunday; a day or renewal. I should get my motivation back and be ready to conquer this next week and be that better person on the inside and out and be a better business woman with my Mary Kay business!!
Sorry for being so negative. Thanks for all your support.
www.marykay.com/naesmiles :) There's that smile I've been missing all day! :)
2 comments:
I'm feeling down today too. Maybe it's just a bad day... Sorry you are having a rough time. Things will get better!
I'm so sorry, Lanae! It sounds to me like those pregnancy hormones are healthy and strong. I've been feeling a little blue too, however. My personal cure is some fresh air. So bundle up and get out on a walk. Or sign up for a spin class! And keep going on walks and bike rides and things even after baby is born. It will lift your spirits. Also, I've noticed your tactics for growing your business. I think you're doing a brilliant job. It just takes time. Be patient and grant yourself grace. Lots of it. You're an amazing and super cute girl!
Post a Comment